


just trying

by SleepingCas



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF Castiel, Castiel/Dean Winchester Cuddles, Dean Winchester Sings, Demon Dean, Fluff, Handcuffs, Human Castiel, I'm Going to Hell, Love Confessions, M/M, Nightmares, Past Relationship(s), Top Dean, Torture, Unhealthy Relationships, blaspheme, possible sabriel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-02
Updated: 2015-04-02
Packaged: 2018-03-20 21:00:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3664827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SleepingCas/pseuds/SleepingCas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Au destiel fic I  started and here it is will up date soonish I promise</p>
            </blockquote>





	just trying

Its the apocalypse everyone is running from the things that go bump in the night be it ghost, demon, vampire you name it but that doesn’t stop businesses from closing up shop. Castiel having gotten a job he absolutely despises but he can’t really complain seeing how he started this mess in the first place.  
One miserable blustery wet day cas’ car’s engine suddenly let out a defining noise before shutting down. he cursed and was definitely going to be late.  
He quickly pulled the vehicle over to the side of the road. he groaned as he felt a chilled breeze welcome him. He cursed himself for not dressing more appropriately forgoing his winter jacket for his light weight overcoat. the weather report earlier that day only warned against light showers.  
He withdrew his phone flipped it only met with the battery low shutting down icon It’s no use he hated driving he hated the cold. just when he thought this day couldn’t possibly worsen he senses a presence behind him.  
“hello old friend fancy seeing you here well not quite but surely you can put two and two together…”  
“what are you… YOU!” he hisses at the shorter man.  
“What do you want demon?”  
“to make a deal as always.”  
“and yet the answer is the same as every time you come to me with the same offer leave me alone crowley.” he turns away from the demon and starts to walk away.  
The demon tutts and smirks snapping his fingers causing the world around them to freeze and the Ex angel to face the former king once more.  
“It’s not me that wants to make the deal love its one of the new kings he wants his little tree topper back by his side, so what do you think castiel?”  
his face takes on a pained expression at the mention of his former charge, “the answer is no…” It’s a whispered pained response but he can’t agree to it his dean would never want that.  
It was three years ago to this very day he recalls a lightening storm along with sam’s cry of aid. He tackled dean, and he fought tooth and nail as cas placed his lips on the mark using as much grace as he could to destroy the mark. Finally dean stopped struggling cas was flung to the side as Dean rushed to his brother’s side. Cas got up shakily, legs doing their best to hold his weight and with the last trace of his grace he cast a spell erasing both the winchesters memories.  
leaving his last feather clutched in dean’s fisted hand, and blanketing him with his coat. He wiped the moisture from his eyes “Farewell Sam..a..and goodbye Dean… I am afraid this time will be our last. There is no going back from here. and I know you can’t hear me but I...I want you to know I love you. Dean I’m so sorry.. for everything maybe without me you will find happiness.  
At that he walked out of the bunker turning back one last time at his home, and walks as far as his legs will take him. until he woke up in a hospital bed.  
that was three years ago...

“why must you make everything so difficult? you are the one who wiped his memories you are the one who left you allowed this hell storm! No matter how far you run you will eventually face the consequences!” with that the demon evaporated leaving the exangel on the side of the cross road.  
Crowley came to him non stop over the past months every time with the same offer. always playing at his weakness he chuckles to himself how old dean would just laugh and poke his sides claiming self deprecation was a true mark of a winchester. At the thought of marks he stopped abruptly a lump forming in the back of his throat. He found himself running home thinking he better just call in sick rather than face other people 

He reaches his small apartment and extracts a small photo album a gift from the winchesters on his first christmas. It was filled with various photos and one in particular he cant find himself going a day without turning to, the picture was of dean it was just an ordinary picture of him with his cocky grin freckled face turning to wink at the camera. they had just finished a movie and dean had been so enthusiastic about reenacting his favorite scenes sam snapped the picture.  
It was just so perfect Dean had been so full of life his smile was one of absolute bliss. He yearned for the chance to see it one more time. just one more time and he promised himself he could be content with life he would gladly parish nary a reget. “I’m so sorry Dean” he whispers to the photograph stroking his fingers along its glossy surface…”I..I couldn’t save you dean…” he whispers brokenly to the photograph wiping futilely at the dampness pouring out his eyes.

“stop every clock. the stars are in shock. the river would run to the sea. I won’t let you fly. I won’t say goodbye. I won't let you slip away from me. Can you hear heaven cry? Tears of an angel.”  
Cas turns around as he hears the voice slamming the album closed, dropping it in shock at the silhouette of a slightly taller man.  
“So hold on. Be strong. Everyday hope will grow. I’m here, don’t you fear. Cas don’t you let go.”  
“H..how did you.. Why are you here Dean?”  
“shut up Cas I’m not here to explain myself to you. You are the one who left without a word! You completely abandoned us wiped our memories! What the hell Cas!” He steps closer to the former angel. Quiet rage in his eyes.  
Cas tried to distance himself from the demon until he feels his back hit something solid. He reaches behind himself and feels the sturdy wall. Dean flashes a smile.  
“Come on cas you know me you know full well sam and I can never accept when someone goes missing. Now fess up Cas! We know what you did! Crowley told us everything! So spill it!”  
He punctuates every sentence with a jarring poke to the other mans chest.  
“What do you want me to say Dean?... I screwed up yours and sam’s life. I caused all this the apocalypse! it’s all my fault! I..I couldn’t save the world or Sam and I couldn’t even save... Castiel looks away from dean trying to escape this situation.  
“Dammit look at me cas.” Dean grasps the ex-angels chin forcing tear-filled blue eyes to meet his vibrant emerald gaze, with the other hand dean caresses his angel’s tear streaked face. Bringing their faces closer. Its a simple brush of lips and then dean is gone, leaving the other slumped against the wall.  
The ex-angel bangs his head against the wall a few times, stands leaning against it’s cool surface he shrugs off his overcoat shudders at the sudden chill, feeling the ghost of warm breath at his neck now gone cold. cas makes his way to the small couch landing tiredly on his side allowing sleep to take him prisoner. The last coherent thought was of chilling winter nights in the bunker blanket hugged tightly to combat the cold. 

Nights when he would wander the halls discontent with sleep.  
“Cas… man what are you still doing up?” He jumped slightly feeling not unlike a child being chided by it’s parent for being up past bedtime. “I uhh umm drink of water… apologies I meant not to disturb you…”  
The eldest winchester sighed and rubbed a hand down his face, “Cas man theres a glass of water on all our nightstands I take the liberty of filling them each night so how about a straight answer plus you’re a terrible liar…” The fallen angel felt his face heat up slightly at the concerned look the hunter gave him. “ I can't sleep…” he mumbled staring down at his sock clad feet. Dean rolled his eyes and without a word grabbed his arm leading him down the dimly lit hallway stopping once inside his own room.  
Dean then let go of cas’ hand and extended it to his large bed “well mi casa su casa angel.” Cas stood against the wall blushing Shaking his head “ umm thank you Dean but I will just go back to my room and leave you in peace-” he is cut off by the gaze the hunter had aimed at him. “Cas shut your trap. I know for a fact you have gone about forty eight hours without sleep at least plus Sammy’s been bitching about your pacing back and forth in wee hours of the night so get on the bed now.  
his tone some what clipped causing the ex angel to shudder slightly going to take his place opposite of the hunter sitting opposed to crawling under the covers and letting his body rest, but dean had gotten up once more to give his angel a once over before sighing, “cas you can’t possibly sleep like that and you will sleep if I have to mother hen you all damn night, so do us both a favor.  
The hunter placing a hand on the ex angels chest gently pushing cas on his back causing the fallen angel’s breathing to falter and face to redden. Dean just smirks and sits in a chair next to his bed arms crossed over his chest and leveling cas with a glare. “Go to sleep cas.”  
“A...as you wish dean..” He rolls onto his side allowing his mind to rest. He remembers fear clouding his tired mind the blinks awake finding dean looking at him concern etched in his features and deans limbs wrapped around him He blinks once more and yawns nuzzling himself in his humans chest and is asleep again.

 

 

Cas awakes startled bolting upright dreaming of the past what a nightmare… He hugs his blanket closer coughs a couple times before rolling over checking his phone viewing the time and tossing his phone to the side before hearing a dark chuckle.  
“awww you miss me~”  
Cas is on his feet before he can register the demon. “So… What does it matter Dean? Why are you here? To punish me? To drag me to hell? Or just torment me to the point I go insane again?”  
Dean has him pressed against a wall in a blink, his hands on the wall trapping the ex angel. “Castiel don’t you ever speak that way to me ever you hear me!” The ex hunter growled nipping at his fallen angels ear. Cas can’t help but shudder at the commanding tone in his former charges voice.  
“th..then what do you want from me dean…”  
Dean pauses obsidian enveloping emerald in a blink and whispers three words in the fallen angel’s ear.  
“I want you.”  
“wh...why would you..why do you want me dean…?”

 

“ you don't want that answer “  
“correct me if i’m wrong but I believe I just asked meaning I want to know. ” He shoves at dean in an attempt to escape but the demon wasn't budging instead he leaned in and whispered, “come on angel you used to love playing... used to love it when I kissed your neck.. spreading your wings for me without a second thought, you used to be so eager for me baby…” the fallen angel shudders reaching out to his hunter. “D...dean...P...Please!”  
“please what baby?” he nuzzles the former angel’s neck.  
“s..stop this…”  
“cas I just can’t…” the demon shakes his head turning away slightly and for a moment cas sees his dean the old dean winchester. The righteous man he saved all those years ago.  
but as soon as it happens dean turns back to him digging his blunt nails into the muscles of his angel’s shoulders.  
“last chance Cas come with me because if you refuse… I will do whatever it takes.” he growls  
fixing his angel with a glare. For a moment cas wants to say yes every fiber of his being wants to be Dean’s once more but he reasons this isn't his dean. He tried to save his Dean but once he thought he had finally managed that the outcome was always the same. He ruined everything.  
“My answer is still the same, no I will not go with you!”  
The demon steps back from the angel, “I didn’t want to do this, But you leave me no choice castiel.” He snaps his fingers and is gone in a blink.  
The former angel having just seconds to process it before he is doubled over on the an excruciating pain radiating from his upper back before blacking out completely.

 

Castiel awakens, dull pain still radiating from his upper back pushing against the surprisingly plush whatever he was placed on discovering his hands have been shackled to the posts of the bed, That explains the softness... He tugs at his bonds testing their strength receiving a harsh shock for his efforts. the fallen angel lays back on the plush mattress defeated not wanting to incur the wrath of the shackles and their excruciating shocks.  
He drowsily curls in a ball savoring the warmth radiating from around him drifting once more out of consciousness only to be awoken by an annoyingly loud conversation.  
“you can’t be serious! Why do I have to be the one?!”  
“fine fine! Okay I got it christ Yeah I’m there right now sheesh yes ok toodles…”

“Can you possibly be any less annoying ?... I find your voice to be grating every sense…” The ex angel growls at the shorter man turning away and bending one of the fluffy pillows over his ears in attempt to drown out the former king of hell.  
“spare me the pleasantries kitten I don't want to be here any more than you do…”  
At that he huffs and throws the stupid soft pillow at the demon. “ yeah I can see how much you don’t I’ll just leave then Oh wait I can’t!” He yanks at the shackles once more bracing himself for the pain wincing slightly to prove his point.  
Crowley just chuckles, “looks like the your righteous one is one kinky s.o.b.”  
At that the former angel’s lungs at the shorter man clawing and punching and kicking and thrashing only letting him go when the pain became too much letting the shorter man run out of the room cursing.

Castiel saviors the peace stretches his overused muscles he wishes he had his blade to cut away his restraints leave it to dean...no not dean! he mentally reprimands himself after all that kind of thinking got him into this trouble he had let his guard down he slipped up and now he was trapped...well until he formed a escape plan that is.

His thoughts were interrupted by someone lingering around the door. “ I swear on my father if you don’t leave me alone Crowley i will kill you with my bare hands! Leave me alone! He looks around for something to throw at him when his thoughts are interrupted by a taller figure chuckling, “woah easy there Cas” he holds up his hands in a mock surrendering fashion.  
“what do you want Dean..?”He mumbles turning as best he can avoiding the others gaze crossing his arms.  
“awe don’t be like that angel look at me…” He takes a seat closer to the bound ex-angel.  
At that cas visibly deflates, “F..Fine!” he meets the demons eyes and his chest fills with a dull ache.  
“unlock these shackles dean I promise I wont run I’m no threat to you in this mortal shell anyways….”

The demon smirks giving Cas' plea a thought before snapping his fingers and holding Castiel's phone to him "I will consider it but first-" he stans up and leans over the bed his eyes devouring the sight before him "you tell me who the hell Russel is and why is he blowing up your phone!"  
Cas just opens his mouth and laughs so hard his head starts to hurt.


End file.
